I’m scared of change. You’d think that by now, being an MK, I’d have gotten used to it….but I haven’t. I’m still scared of going home on furlough and not being able to reintegrate into any kind of social circle, and of coming back to Portugal and having to try to fit in all over again. I’m honestly terrified of going to college because I’ll be on my own in a new environment. I’m also scared of rejection. I don’t like standing out because I’m afraid of what people will think or say. This fear makes it extremely difficult to be a missionary, or a Christian for that matter, because our whole purpose in life is to be different.

But two years ago God gave me two phrases to hang on to. These ideas weren’t new, by any means, but at the time that I heard them they hit harder than they had before. The first thought came from a special speaker at an MK retreat. He reminded us that we were not created to “fit in” with the world; we were created to BELONG to God. There is a big difference between just “fitting in,” which is temporary and circumstantial, and actually belonging, which is permanent.

The second phrase came from a song I heard: “Our identity is not in whatever is happening to us right now; our Identity is seated at the right hand of God, and He is feeling just fine.” That one struck hard. I selfishly complain about having to move or about getting weird looks when I explain what I believe; but Jesus selflessly took death without objection.

I’m still nowhere near overcoming my fear, but remembering these thoughts helps me shift my focus off of me back on the reason why I’m supposed to be different and stand out.

-by Alyssa Smith, MK to Portugal