At the beginning of quarantine, I had written a parody from “The Office” about our family and we were going to use it as a promo video for a new ministry we were starting during quarantine. I had it color coded, cast the cat, had everyone do a table read, and directed several takes. After the filming was done and Tobie was editing it, he pointed out that the script was really chaotic if you don’t know us well, so while it was HILARIOUS (for real) he thought it wasn’t appropriate for the ministry and my parents agreed. So he not only trashed my script, he rewrote it entirely and didn’t even color code it. He just told people what to say and then filmed it. And I refused to be in it because I was hurt and angry that my script was not accepted. 

I have also written a kind of script for my life. I had planned to move to Florida for a year with my grandparents, where I would take the SATs and get a job and get my drivers license before going to college in New York. I had everything planned. I was motivated — I was excited. 

Then the plan for Florida changed. “I’m ok with it,” I said; “I’m going to trust God,” I said. In actuality, I was making pro-con lists, overanalyzing the situation, and guilting myself into feeling like I had made a bad decision. I hadn’t, God had just altered my script a little bit and I wasn’t taking the criticism well. 

I reminded my mom daily to help me register for the SATs and of course there was another alteration in my perfectly color coded, perfectly written script. The SATs weren’t even open to registration until they could figure out how to handle the already registered people with social distancing and limited testing centers. So I was once again seeing no hope, no future, all my dreams and goals and plans slipping into the abyss one by one. 

My script was perfect, and if I couldn’t live the script I’ve written for my life, I didn’t want to do anything at all. I had it all so perfectly organized, and now I’m losing my grip on the future. 

My mom, who did not think my script was complete trash but saw how maybe some improvements were necessary, looked up the college I’m trying to get into. They aren’t requiring SAT scores for applications sent in this year because they understand the difficult circumstances we’re all in. Instead they want students to apply with an essay and a video call interview. I can do that SO much better than I could ever do on the SAT. It’s my strong point and what I want to do for the rest of my life: writing. This is great for me. What a coincidence! 

Not really. It was all scripted. It wasn’t in the original script, but it’s in the much better, much improved script. I’ve learned over the last few years, and especially with the pandemic, that I can’t control everything- and that’s actually a major relief. I can’t always see the end, I can’t figure out how plot twists make sense, or how things will turn out happily ever after, but I know that God’s script for my life is not there to negate my script. It’s an improvement and it’s a promise. 

I’m sticking to God’s script for my life, and I have so much more peace since I can trust firmly and deeply that his plan for my life is in progress. He is faithful, good, and patient with me; I must play my part and be faithful, good, and patient, too.  

(written by Mandie Chau, MK in Singapore)