Perspective is everything when you are experiencing the challenges of life. Sometimes God allows what he hates to accomplish what he loves. Heartache forces us to embrace God out of desperate, urgent need. God is never closer than when your heart is aching.

 Joni Eareckson Tada

Life has changed for all of us. I know many of you are facing things that you never thought you would face.  You are in places and situations that have become extremely difficult.   Two short months ago life was going along pretty normally for most of us.

We had a major life event in February. Bethany got married.  We knew it was coming.  We were excited and happy.  It was a busy time, stressful but happy stress, and the wedding was wonderful, with beautiful weather.   They left February 23 for their honeymoon in……Italy!  That day the news broke that the Corona virus outbreak was happening in the north of Italy—cities were quarantined and locked down.  Oh my.  It was a scary week.  Not knowing if they were going to be okay—would they be exposed?  Would flights to the US be stopped—would they be stuck there, or be quarantined somewhere along the way?  All ended up being okay with them self-quarantined back in Springfield, and eventually returning to somewhat normal life just in time for…… the state of emergency in the US, and our state of Missouri issuing a stay-at-home order.

Right before the state of emergency we decided to list our home for sale.  We had been talking about doing it for a while but, with other things going on, had put it on hold.  I was ambivalent about it, but figured we could try.  We put it up for sale and…. it sold in five hours!  Oh my.  The buyer wanted to move in three weeks—what?  I hadn’t packed a thing. Suddenly I was overcome and overwhelmed with feelings of sadness and grief.  Having lived in one place for twenty years—a world record I’m sure in the world of missions—I now regretted wanting to downsize.  At least we had a place in mind, and were able to settle on a moving day a month away.  Looking back I can see I was emotionally drained when we started the moving process, and it was not easy, but day by day I made it through. I know with all the uncertainty going on, that added to the feelings I was experiencing.  The Lord brought many scriptures to mind, and allowed me to come across many forms of encouragement through Facebook, wonderful people like Gail Gritts and her Beside the Well blog and video lessons on anxiety and other topics.  Listening to sermons on the various Psalms—especially Psalms 23 and 91 helped me to keep things in perspective.  We got moved. It’s only ten minutes from our “old” house.  Everything went very smoothly. I know I have so much to be thankful for.  God gave grace and perspective.  I’m learning that maybe I wasn’t trusting Him, or hoping in Him, or loving Him as much as I thought I was.  “Oh for grace, to trust Him more.”

Weddings, worldwide pandemics, making a move in a time of uncertainty—God is continuing to teach me—I keep asking, “What is the lesson in all this?  What are you teaching me?  What can I learn?”

I came across an article about anticipatory grief by Esther Perel explaining a lot of the feelings we may all be going through right now.  She talks about how this “unprecedented crisis has left us with a lot of unprecedented emotions.”  Some of the emotions she described are things like “prolonged uncertainty, ambiguous loss”—where we know we have lost something, but it’s hard to put a finger on it, as well as “stress and anticipatory grief”—bracing ourselves for what may be coming.  This article also helped me to gain some perspective on my life and emotions over the past few weeks.  While this is not necessarily written from a Christian worldview, it had some interesting and helpful information.  You can find it at estherperel.com under the blog tab.

Another day I was reminded of God’s care for the birds.

 Matthew 6:26 -Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?

I don’t need to worry because God cares about animal life, and He cares for me much more. One thing I knew I would miss at our old home was our very large yard with lots of trees and bushes, and birds that would nest in the same shrubs year after year.  I enjoyed the little finches that would come— could hear their babies chirping outside our window and knew the cycle was repeating.  In our quest to downsize house and yard, this was a small thing, but I felt sad about it.  Imagine my surprise at our new home, right above a light fixture under a covered porch was a nest of finches.  The other day I saw three good sized babies packed in the nest—obviously about ready to be launched.  I laughed to myself—look at this small way that shows how much God cares for me. I know He does in so many other ways as well, but by allowing me the same, but new birds and giving me a view to see the babies was a special gift .  I worship and praise Him because He cares for me even in the small things of life.  Why do we worry and fret?  It seems like there’s a lot to worry about these days.  As someone said—“we’re all in the same storm, but we’re not all in the same boat”.  Everyone’s boat is unique to them and their circumstances—but those of us who know Jesus—He is in the boat with us! For those of you that have been in quarantine, maybe even unable to leave your house for fifty or more days, or struggling with the holding pattern you are in, not knowing if you’re going to ever get to your field, remember the birds.  Remember that God cares for you more than you know.  And remember He will never leave you or forsake you. He is in your boat with you.   That’s a perspective that I never want to forget.

-by Pam Konnerup